


恋しい (Koishii)

by stxrmyeon



Category: ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Internal Conflict, M/M, Mention of SeoJo, Twins, twins birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrmyeon/pseuds/stxrmyeon
Summary: “When I let go of your hand, the only thing I remembered was how you’d look as you waited on me.” -koisii, oneus
Relationships: Lee Giwook | CyA & Son Dongju | Xion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	恋しい (Koishii)

1  
On the rooftop of the Son family’s apartment

"Poor Dongmyeong. He shouldn’t be suffering over a boy." Dongju sighed, seeing how miserable his twin looked right now. Youngjo, who was also staring at Dongmyeong, shook his head, agreeing with the statement.

Today was the twin's birthday, and their friends prepared everything except one thing that went wrong. They didn't include Donmyeong's crush, Giwook, in the planning committee. The situation wouldn't be such an issue if Keonhee, one of Dongju's friends, wouldn't have told him that he wasn't needed. The case in hand wasn’t that big of a deal. Moreover, Keonhee would never have meant it seriously, but his words still stung in the boy's heart, and he decided that he wasn't going to the party. Everybody agreed that this was an immature action, but when Giwook set his mind to something, there was almost no one who would convince him otherwise.

Trying to cheer his twin up, though, Dongju tried shifting the playlist so it would suit his interests more, but it didn't help. Seoho tried singing to soothe everything, but since nobody was listening to him, he got embarrassed and stopped. It seemed like they would have to end the party since it was useless, but as a last resource, Harin and Yonghoon gathered everybody present and started explaining that now they were going to play a game. This made Dongju sigh in relief since he didn't want his birthday party to go to shit because of what happened.

Time passed, and although everybody started having fun with the guys’ games, Dongmyeong was still sitting in a corner, looking sad. He was hoping that Giwook would change his mind and that at any moment, he would appear at the party, but it didn't seem like it was happening at any moment.

Dongju saw this and decided to take matters into his hands. He took out his phone from the 'no phone, more fun' basket and called Giwook. The phone rang a couple of times before it went directly to the voicemail message. This angered the birthday boy, but he still didn't give up. He called several times, and they all ended with the voicemail message minus the last one. After what seemed like forever, Giwook finally answered with a 'what?'. Dongju scoffed at his attitude but knew it wasn't time to argue.

"Dude, come to the party." The guy went directly to the point. He wasn't going to hesitate because seeing his twin this miserable over a boy was outrageous.

A simple "No" came from the other line, and Dongju sighed.

"What is wrong with you? Do you know how Dongmyeong is managing without you? He looks miserable!" Dongju exclaimed a little bit too exalted.

_**This was all for Dongmyeong.** _

The other side of the line went silent for some seconds, and only breaths were heard.

"Shit," Giwook muttered.

“Dongju!!” Geonhak yelled, instantly getting the guy’s attention. “Do you want peperos???”

“Not now, hyung! I’m in the middle of a call!” Dongju chuckled, and then put on his serious face again. “You were saying?”

"Do you think he doesn't deserve me?"

"If you don't come to the party and make the sunshine return to his eyes, then yeah, he doesn't," Dongju said while staring at his nails.

"Since when did you become so poetic? and for your twin?" Giwook asked out of pure confusion.

Dongju sighed and started walking around. "He's my twin, and I love him. I may not tell him that much, but yeah, I do. Why do you think I'm talking to you? He didn't send me. I'm doing this out of pure care and love for my brother." Some of these words felt foreign in his mouth, but they seemed like the best thing to say right now.

"You're going to make me cry." Giwook chuckled. "Wow, cold Dongju has feelings."

"I'm going to murder you."

"No, please." The youngest pleaded but laughed nonetheless. "I don't want to die without telling Dongmyeong that - fuck!"

"What?" The twin asked while separating his phone from his ear since it was a loud yell.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" Was the only thing heard from the other line.

"What's wrong, Giwook? Are you okay?" Dongju worriedly asked while waiting for an answer.

There was a minute of silence, and then Dongju heard someone picking the phone up and shuffling it around. After that, Giwook talked. "Hi"

"Yeah? Are you okay? You scared me there for a second."

"I'm fine. It's just that I was trying to escape from my house, but fell and broke one of mom's bases. I still managed to get out of the house, though." Giwook explained a little out of breath.

"Why are you escaping from your house in the first place?" The twin confusedly asked. "You're not here with Dongmyeong and now-"

"I'm heading there, but I need your help first." The youngest interrupted. Dongju sighed, but the guy continued. "Since I'm dumb-"

"Yes, you are."

"Shut up."

"I'm just stating the truth, though."

"CAN YOU LET ME EXPLAIN?" Giwook yelled, making himself heard outside of Dongju's phone. Everybody looked in the twin's direction, and he just managed to wave everyone off without gaining more attention.

"Dude, don't yell at me like that, you almost made everybody in the party ask me who I'm talking to," Dongju whispered with a harsh tone and then walked even further from everybody.

"Why not tell them?"

"Yeah, I'm going to tell them that I'm talking to the person that's making my twin miserable." Dongju sarcastically replied and shuffled his hair.

Giwook hummed. “True… anyway, meet me in the park that’s beside your house.” He proposed, and the twin was dumbfounded.

“Why would you want to meet up with me when you’re supposed to be here? Wait… someone’s coming,” Dongju said, lowering his voice as Hyungu started approaching him.

“BECAUSE I WANT TO FUCK YOU,” Giwook yelled and started laughing. Hyungu heard this, and both his and Dongju’s eyes widened.

“Who-who are you talking to?” The blonde asked, not knowing if he wanted a response.

“Why did you say that, Giwook?!” Dongju sternly whispered to the phone. Hyungu, now knowing that it was Giwook on the other side, gasped. He went to tell Yonghoon what was happening, but Dongju stopped him before he could even take two steps. "Hyungu, please, let me explain." The twin pleaded.

"Did I fuck up?” Giwook asked, making Dongju groan. Hyungu stood there with a raised eyebrow wanting an explanation. “Look, hyung, I called this dude because I hate seeing Dongmyeong miserable, so I was trying to convince him to show up. The problem is that Giwook wants me to meet up with him in the park for something, and I don’t know for what. Should I trust him?”

“Of course! It’s for Dongmyeong!” Giwook yelled but went once again ignored by Dongju.

“You know not everybody will see it like that.” Hyungu simply said with the calmest voice ever.

“What do you mean?” Dongju tilted his head to the side, not knowing how everybody could misinterpret this, but then it came to mind.

_**“Dongju… I have something to tell you…” Dongmyeong shyly said. Dongju found his attitude a little bit strange since his brother was never this awkward around him.** _

_**“What? Did you eat my chocolates?” Dongju said, rapidly squaring up to ‘fight.’** _

_**“...what? No… I-” He kept stuttering his words, and it was making Dongju desperate by the minute.** _

_**“Dongmyeong, talk because if you don’t-”** _

_**“I like Giwook…”** _

_**“-I’m going to- wait… what did you say?” The youngest twin stopped mid-sentence and looked at him with confusion.** _

_**“I really like Giwook…”** _

_**“You like my boyfriend?”** _

“Fuck, you’re right...” Dongju sighed, but was still determined to make the party turn around and meet up with Giwook. “, but, I… really want to make Dongmyeong happy, hyung.” The twin pouted.

“You do you, Dongju. Just remember that even if I know that you don’t have feelings for the dumbass…”

“Hey!!” Giwook yelled through the phone, and Dongju just decided to mute him.

“...that not everybody thinks like that. Plus, you know how protective are Yonghoon and Harin over your brother.” Hyungu, again, said calmly. He was making sure nobody got hurt because of this, and Dongju understood where he was coming from, but something inside his head told him to go with Giwook, and that persistent voice was getting annoying as time passed by. As a result, he said goodbye to Hyungu, told him not to tell anybody, and left to find Giwook in the park.

**_“I think we should break up…” Dongju said, looking at the floor sadly._ **

**_“I honestly think the same thing,” Giwook responded, biting, the inside of his cheek right after._ **

**_“We’ll still be friends, right?” The twin whispered, tearing up and Giwook nodded, hugging him right after._ **

**_This was all for Dongmyeong._ **

2  
At the park

  
“Look who finally arrived” Giwook chuckled as Dongju approached him with a poker face.

“You know we’re risking a lot by being here alone, right?” That was the twin’s greeting, and it took Giwook aback.

“Yeah, I heard Hyungu. We were on a call while he talked to you, remember?” The youngest rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “I don’t know why they are like this. I know we are exes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“You know this isn’t because of us…” Dongju said in a low voice.

**_“What do you guys think you are doing?” Yonghoon, accompanied by an angry Harin, appeared in Dongju's room._ **

**_“We’re… playing,” Dongju said, seeing nothing wrong with what they were doing since they were sitting on the floor, knees touching each other, playing on his PlayStation._ **

**_“Giwook…” Yonghoon now looked towards the youngest, and Giwook shifted his sight to the floor. Dongju, for some time, knew the guy knew something he didn’t, and it was more obvious now._ **

**_“You know you shouldn’t be here.” Harin scoffed and left, Yonghoon following him soon after, not before looking Giwook badly._ **

**_They were left in silence for a few seconds, and Dongju’s heart got broken once he saw Giwook standing up. He hadn’t seen him since they broke up, and for some reason, he was leaving all of a sudden? He couldn’t help himself but grab Giwook’s hand to prevent him from going. The guy looked back and gave him an unapologetic look. They understood each other, but there was something he wasn’t telling him, and it was eating Dongju alive._ **

**_After that day, they started to drift apart, and Giwook began hanging out with Dongmyeong more._ **

**_This was all for …Dongmyeong…_ **

“Yeah, you’re right,” Giwook huffed and looked at the floor. Remembering those times honestly hurt both, and neither wanted to talk about it.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“If you know Dongmyeong likes you, why are you acting so… normal?” The redhead questioned with genuine curiosity.

“I- Look, I don’t fucking know. I like him, but he deserves someone better. I don’t think I’m the one for him… not like this.” Giwook let out and sighed at the end.

“I agree with the part of him not deserving you since you’re too coward even to confess, but man, he loves you. Moreover, he’s head over heels for you! Why would you waste such an opportunity?” Dongju reassured his friend and touched his shoulder, not sure if he meant his words. Giwook smiled at the little action, albeit being offended by the guy calling him a coward.

“I really don’t know. Plus, none of his friends likes me. Even Hyungu, the calmest person in the world, has neutral feelings towards me.” The youngest sighed.

“Dude, at least his feelings are neutral. Imagine Hyungu hating you? That must suck ass.” The twin chuckled and sat down in one of the park’s games. Giwook, once again, sighed. He found himself sighing a lot, and it was tiring him.

“Anyway, let’s go.” Giwook stood up and started cleaning his pants from the dirt that got on them while sitting on the floor.

“To where?” Dongju stood up as well, finding it futile that he sat down just seconds ago, and stretched out.

“To make your twin’s birthday better… I guess.”

“Wow, and I am just going to waste mine doing so. Yay.”

3  
Back at the party

  
“Man, Dongmyeong is finally enjoying the party, huh?” Hwanwoong approached Youngjo, with two drinks in hand. He passed the guy one and started drinking the other one.

“Young love, huh?” Youngjo said while taking a sip of his drink. “It builds you as well as it can destroy you. Little do they know that this probably won’t matter in the future.”

Hwanwoong chuckled at Youngjo’s comment and then said: “Stop being so philosophical because I remember clearly when you were pursuing Seoho. You were all like: ‘Hwan, he hasn’t texted me in hours.’ ‘What if he doesn’t like me?’ ‘We kissed yesterday, but maybe he doesn’t feel the same as me,’’ The youngest mocked his friend’s voice at the time and both laughed. “It’s all the same ‘young love’ you seem to be preaching now.”

“I know,” Youngjo smiled and looked to where Seoho was. “, but it doesn’t matter now, right? That’s what I’m talking about. That, even if I spent several nights worrying if Seoho would ever like me back, I’m here, married to him.” A blush appeared on the elder’s cheeks, and it embarrassed him.

“Hyung, ew, stop.” Hwanwoong teased. “You’ll make me vomit with all of this cheesiness.”

“Shut up. You’ll someday find a girl that makes you melt with her smile.” The guy teased and pushed his friend a little bit. Hwanwoong just shook his head and smiled. Maybe he had already found that girl, but it wasn’t time to tell them yet.

After talking a little while, they saw a scene that caught Youngjo’s attention. Hyungu was talking to Yonghoon, and the latter was mad. This was odd, but the guy kept looking and trying to figure out what was happening. When suddenly someone said: “Wait. Where’s Dongju?”

4  
Inside a grocery store

  
“What is your brother’s favorite candy?” Giwook asked in front of the vast candy aisle.

“Aren’t you guys good friends? And possibly future boyfriends? Shouldn’t you know simple things like this?” Dongju said, disappointed.

“Dude, I can’t even remember my address. Give me a break.” The youngest huffed and started heading for the marshmallows.

“Nope”

Giwook turned around with a confused stare and raised an eyebrow: “Nope, what?”

“Dongmyeong doesn’t… like marshmallows” The twin shrugged his shoulders.

“What are you talking about? We ate them the other night.” Giwook confusedly stared at the guy in front of him. Dongju shrugged his shoulder and headed towards the peperos.

“If I know my twin well, he really likes cheesy stuff, so buy him these peperos, and he should get the hint. If he doesn’t, firstly, he’s dumb, and secondly, you should hint it with social cues.”

“Yeah, tell the dumbass to hint something with social cues.” The youngest huffed and grabbed a box of Almond and chocolate-coated peperos.

“How difficult could it be? Ugh, nevermind. Just ask him, ‘Dongmyeong, do you want to play the pepero game?’ and that’s it. If he says no, then leave it. It’s still his gift, so he won’t mind eating them alone.” The twin calmly explained.

After that little banter, they started roaming the isles, searching for more things Dongmyeong could like. They picked up Dongmyeong’s favorite ramyeons, Dongmyeong’s favorite snacks, and they were headed to pick up Dongmyeong’s favorite drink when, suddenly, Giwook stopped in his tracks confusing Dongju in the process. He saw the guy looking intently at something, and he followed his field of vision. In front of them, there was a big display of peach water jellies.

Both guys, as of cue, smiled widely due to the memories these simple kid snacks brought them. “Do you remember these!?” Giwook exclaimed and grabbed a bag. “You used to be obsessed!”

“I remember, oh my god. I haven’t seen these in ages.” Dongju smiled fondly, remembering them.

**_“Babe, guess what I brought you?” Giwook smiled, entering the guy’s room with his hands behind his back._ **

**_Dongju sighed. He was happy Giwook was there, but he was studying for finals, and his boyfriend always distracted him. “Bear, I am studying. I told you not to come.”_ **

**_“But I’m leaving quickly! I just came by to leave you these. They’re ice-cold, as you like them.” He smiled again and revealed what he was hiding._ **

**_In his hand, there were three boxes of peach water jellies, Dongju’s favorite treat. The twin smiled excitedly and stood up to kiss his boyfriend. He always knew how to make him happy._ **

“Do you want to buy them?” Giwook looked at him excitedly, and for some reason, Dongju’s heart sank, but he said yes.

They didn’t retouch the topic and went to search for Dongmyeong’s drink since, after all,

**_This was all for him._ **

5  
Back at the party

  
“Guys! Gather up. We’re going to sing happy birthday!” Yonghoon yelled while bringing out the birthday cake.

Everybody started making a semi-circle in front of the table where Yonghoon just placed said cake, and soon people noticed.

“Where’s Dongju?” Dongmyeong asked as he didn’t feel the usual company he always had when he celebrated all of his birthdays. Yonghoon huffed and tried to dismiss his presence, but Keonhee intervened and said: “He must’ve gone down to freshen up a bit. Remember, he had a stressful day yesterday. Let’s wait a little bit.”

Just to put it short, he had a lot of problems with his college application and almost lost his spot to enter. It meant a lot of stressful paper filling and unnecessary waiting. The thing is that… Dongju didn’t feel burdened by that anymore. He got over it the moment everything was resolved, and Youngjo knew that since he was the one who accompanied him to the university.

Suddenly, everything clicked on his mind, and he needed to talk to one of the guys who started this. “Yonghoon, can we talk for a bit?”

6  
In the Park

  
“Shouldn’t we be returning to the party now?” Dongju thought as he saw they were heading back to the park beside his house. Albeit having these thoughts, he decided to ignore them. He figured out he missed hanging out with Giwook because, after all, they were best friends before being boyfriends, so passing this time together wasn’t going to hurt anybody.

When they entered the park, Giwook headed directly to a little playhouse on the far left of it. Dongju had no idea what he was doing but still followed him. Suddenly, the youngest started running to it and yelled, ‘the last one to arrive is a rotten egg!!!’. The twin couldn’t help but laugh, and he had no intention of following the guy. Just seeing him act like a little kid made him smile so much. It was almost as if nothing else in the world existed but them.

Giwook stood outside of the house and pouted when he saw that Dongju wasn’t running as well. “I will eat all of your water jellies just because you didn’t run!”

Dongju widened his eyes and ran towards the house since he was craving said jellies. He, for sure, knew that Giwook wasn’t going to eat them, but he didn’t want to lose a chance. So when he arrived, all out of breath, he snatched the bag he knew for sure had the packet of the jellies. He then hugged the bag for dear life and ran inside the playhouse. The house was for sure small, so once he passed through the door, he got on his knees and crawled towards the back end. Once he reached it, he sat back against the corner of the house and took out his water jellies from the bag.

He quickly opened the package and took one of the jellies out. In that, Giwook entered the minuscule house and sat in front of the twin, knees touching each other. The little touch sent a small electric shot through Dongju's body, and this made the boy arc his back. The youngest raised his eyebrow at the reaction but didn't say anything. Keeping the silence, Dongju kept opening the protective packaging the jelly had. He tore the top of it and started slurping the candy. As it reached his mouth, he moaned in contentment. He missed the taste of his once-favorite jellies.

Giwook watched all this in amazement because he knew how these meant to Dongju and seeing the happiness they brought him was enough to make him happy. "Can I have some?" Giwook asked.

The twin hesitated for a moment but reluctantly passed the candy to Giwook. "I thought you didn't like them." He said right after.

"I just want to see what's all the fuss you have around these." The youngest simply shrugged and started slurping the tube.

"but you already proved that... when we were boyfriends." Dongju pointed out. Giwook got some candy into his mouth and scrunched his nose once he got the taste. Yup, he didn't like these at all, and now he remembered why. "And you reacted the same..."

Giwook gave the jelly back to its owner, and the ambient suddenly got awkward. The simple mention of their relationship was now making them uncomfortable and nostalgic, even though they believed they had gotten over it.

So the question was that if Giwook already knew how they tasted, why did he want to try them then?

7  
At the party

  
“Yonghoon,” Youngjo said in the sternest voice ever. This would've intimidated anyone, but Yonghoon was standing there, arms crossed, knowing where this conversation was going.

"Look, if you're searching for Dongju, he's not here. He left to fuck around with Giwook, ugh." The eldest simply stated, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know where he is, but I know what's happening. I just wanted to tell you that keeping Giwook and Dongju far away from each other just made it worse, and this was bound to happen." The eldest stated in the most calmly way possible. "I have seen first hand how the boy suffers in silence, and even him doesn't notice it because you all made them believe that Giwook and Dongmyeong were meant to be together even if not even Dongmyeong believes that and you know it."

“but Giwook likes him. He has said so, and I’m sure that if I call him right now, he’ll come and be with Dongmyeong.” Yonghoon retorted. He had seen how those two got along and was sure they were meant for each other. “Plus, Giwook broke up with Dongju to be with Dongmyeong.”

“It was a mutual agreement started by Dongju who didn’t want his brother to suffer over a boy. Get your facts straight, Jin Yonghoon,” The youngest of the two argued. “And that led to Dongju never getting over his feelings by just shoving them to a corner until they inevitably got tired of being in there.” Youngjo finished, angry at how much hardships these guys made his friend pass just because they wanted to.

“I-” Yonghoon was speechless. He hadn’t seen a situation like that. He and his friends were so focused on getting Dongmyeong someone to be with that they dismissed Dongju’s feelings ultimately, even if he sacrificed a whole relationship for his brother’s sake. He didn’t say anything to Youngjo. He felt as if he didn’t need to.

8  
The End.

  
Neither knew what the other wanted right now. They were sitting there, just looking at each other’s eyes. It was a silent communication that both were the only ones who could partake in, but did not understand in its entirety. Giwook was the one who brought them here, but Dongju was the one who wanted to stay. It was getting late, and everybody was waiting for them at the party, but that wasn’t on Dongju’s mind right now. He was sure he wanted to do this. It felt correct, just like everything they had done today, so he gave it a shot.

He kissed Giwook to let him know that his feelings weren’t gone.

He kissed Giwook to relive the past.

He kissed Giwook… just so.

But his heart broke when he wasn’t reciprocated. He felt Giwook tense up and close his eyes very tightly. He was conflicted and seemed to be fighting something internally. It wasn’t until he broke the kiss, that Dongju understood.

Giwook didn’t feel the same as him.

Or that’s what Dongju thought.

Either way, both picked everything up and headed towards the party, nothing said afterward.

**Author's Note:**

> Definition of 恋しい (Koishii)  
> -yearned for  
> -longed for  
> -missed


End file.
